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no more prized possessions, no more video cassettes
no more shopping at the retailer, you can buy it all direct
now i always wait 'til sunday to order my monday shoes
and i stream my life in full hd and rattle off the news
now i revel in the sickly sweet and reject all defeat
am i in turn the antagonist to a script i wrote about masochists
i find the moon too close for comfort, a memo of a forgotten lover
a bridge between the life i've built, over the garden i let wilt
no more timed destruction of a media campaign
no more interjection to whether i am just insane
it's just the way it goes, upload my pride and woes
wave to the surveillance state
my body's hard drive is a corrupted slow dive
into a relic of the past it won't last
i'm running all the paths around me, doing circles to avoid my faults
hiding from the world trying to save me, my conscience gently halts
i plug myself in to disappear each day
i reset every way i can
i'm falling down this digital sound and can't seem to drown
no matter the depth
the web surrounds me like everything i do
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2. |
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no more time in the darkness
that shit's getting pedantic
too much time in the world
to keep thinking that i'm sick
all i need is another point of view
so please tell me what i'm supposed to do
it's okay, it's obtuse, it's a way i want to be
outside of the void that follows me
all the words about sorrow
that i read from the stories
thinking i could escape them
without saying i'm sorry
now i water it down
now i look all around
now i'm sensitive to the sound of words i have not said
all i need is another point of view
so please tell me what i'm about to do
it's okay, it's obtuse, it's a way i want to be
outside of the void that follows me
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3. |
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liquid walls surround my home
beneath an iridescent dome
i read my literature in vain
while neighbors watch me, try to tame
my outward, vocal way of life
shadowed by encroaching night
my legs they try to run in place
my tongue is numb to friendly taste
i chase my demons with rapid pace
but i'm too slow to erase
i revel in waste
all but ignoring haste
on the couch i melt
over feelings i felt
my walls they flood my living room
my roof becomes a glowing tomb
~ i am confined to gravity and mass
~ my mind is held by bones that will not last
~ watch as the world turns from structure into dust
~ skin held together by tension i can trust
my outward, vocal way of life
shadowed by encroaching night
my legs they try to run in place
my tongue is numb to friendly taste
i chase my demons with rapid pace
but i'm too slow to erase
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4. |
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my meals are hearty, my heart is full
but my consciousness is stuck in nightmare undertow
i have a partner that pulls me free
for i am all too dense to see what they can see
complicate everything, suddenness set me back
fallacy follows me, compensate what i make
there is no greater comfort than to shake the fear
there is no self without the people you hold near
my footsteps follow in the path already made
my intuition pulls me into the dismay
without the hand i hold i'd drown in ocean's deep
because the hand i hold i climb the mountain steep
i'm falling but lifted, i can't explain
a presence of hope i must exclaim
a lightness to living so foreign to me
a beacon in the night i can finally see
a reason to put pen to paper
a drive to taste, a way to savor
a wholeness of a broken shell
a slow dance driving me from hell
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5. |
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everything surrounds me
i'm bathing in the moonlight
what a contradiction
i'm living underground tonight
heart attack out of whack injures
blood boiling out of my fingers
my memories are starting to linger
everything around me
is turning into dust and bones
time is meant to escape
i know it from the overtones
i will go, i will leave
i will find another way to settle myself in the ground
i will go, i will find nothing but myself
i can't seem to turn that one down
i'm turning for answers but can't run the risk of just losing the life that i have
everything around me
are indications of happiness
she's cutting flowers for show
as i question my handiness
i am the hand that keeps holding me back from the simplicity of the world detracted from eons of hard work and natural beauty
that's led me to the guillotine of my choosing
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6. |
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you've downloaded your sorrows
fulfilled your dying wish
but there's much more to follow, exist
you can't find any pathway to make you whole
but enough's enough, you can be enough
intimate sacrilege
intricate patronage
you don't have to be the best to make it to the top
you just need the fire that can burn the will to stop
you can be the market if they need a place to shop
squeeze out your content, give it a good look over
please don't sit on it tweaking it to hell
oh god that pisses me off so much
just give em what you've got
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7. |
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under the forest a seed was sewn
and grew into a tree like never before
a great behemoth with spiral legs
and upward branches in the sky to beg
growing against the scene of the sky
grabbing attention of local eyes
but mostly shunned by whispers of what lay inside
then one day, with a perilous plan, a stranger took the stand
the stranger took to the woods
satchel with unknown goods
and found the base of the tree
miles above, where the branches spread out
cast a darkness where the roots and ground meet
the stranger carried forward,
noticing a foreign glow
seeping from dirt below
everything began to shift apart suddenly
once faint winds now shouting a melody
dissonant like never before
and the tree's bark began to spread
thin green veins wrapped within
and the hum of the ground matched the whispers of the wind
and the stranger moved to the trunk
captivated by its light
they hardly noticed the suddenness of night
and the softening dirt had encroached on their feet
but the stranger stayed calm, watching bark begin to leak
small tears of a liquid, in a color never seen
awestruck, the stranger snapped, realizing immobility
and grasped into their satchel for a tonic of agility
but it was too late
the stranger sank lower and lower into the dirt
at the base of the tree
until nothing remained to be seen
on the surface
and the tree's glow subsided
and let forth a forest
that contained a new voice
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8. |
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kickin at my feed, stumblin around
town i do not know, starting to shut down
i've had too much to drink
and when i finally make it back
in the bathroom panic attack
to the floor i sink
when i look into my eyes
in a clouded mirror
i see through my disguise
and all i see is fear
and the dissonance in my head
starts sounding off
one part harsh and screaming
the other steady and soft
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